Posts
Thursday, July 02, 2009
Blast from the Past
I have had history on the mind this week. Normally that is because I am reading a historical fiction book, but this time it is more recent than that - it is my own history. This isn't just a random thing, but rather than I was friended on Facebook by a person from my teenage years, and to be honest it has kind of spooked me a little.
I have no idea whether this person knows it or not, but he was my first love. Even if I had of found something about him on the net, I would have just read it, stored it away, but I never would have contacted him, so it is kind of strange that he contacted me. Over the years I have heard snippets about what he is up to because my mother sees him occasionally. That in itself really annoys me because she always tells me how well he has done for himself, but when we were going out, she did everything, and I mean everything she could to break us up, and said some truly horrible things about him. I had to think about whether I was going to accept or not, mainly because just the thought of seeing him again, or even just chatting to him, for the first time in 20 plus years freaks me out! This isn't about the possibility of something happening with him because he is married with kids, and lives in another city, but just running into him somewhere would see me running to hide pretty much. Part of that is because I am not proud of my appearance, but I am trying to do something about that now.
I know I am not alone in over thinking things like this. I'm not sure if it is because I have been by myself for so long now, or just because I am a girl, or because he was my first love, or what, but it seems that for the short term at least I will be revisiting my past, or at least the pleasant parts.
12 comments:
I recently reconnected with my first love from over 20 years ago. We have both moved on with our lives but it has been a great feeling to reconnect and to see how we have both turned out. I don't think you will be sorry if you open up a line of communication with him. Best of luck!
Do it! Go for it. It really is the only thing you can do. You will probably kick yourself silly for not doing it if you pass the opportunity by. This happened to me a few years back and I didn't take my own advice. Now I lost the chance to revisit my past. Not in a romantic way but it would have been another chapter and memory to add to the many I already have. Good luck! :)
I know how odd that feeling can be, Marg! You can always put him on limited profile if you don't really want to interact with him. But I bet he's just as curious about you as you are about him.
It's only been about 8 years but I'd still feel very strange if my first boyfriend contacted me. I don't think he will, but I think I would take the chance to reconnect with him. I'm very happy with where my life is right now so I don't think I would mind revisiting those memories.
I did answer, and he came back with a very short message. Even a little bit of a chat will be good, and then I am happy just to leave it at that.
In the end I decided that he had been such an important person in my past, that I should take the opportunity to reopen contact, even if it is only limited!
I am actually friends with quite more than one of my exes so it isn't really that big a deal I guess.
Thanks for your thoughts everyone!
In the end I decided that he had been such an important person in my past, that I should take the opportunity to reopen contact, even if it is only limited!
I am actually friends with quite more than one of my exes so it isn't really that big a deal I guess.
Thanks for your thoughts everyone!
You are so not alone. All of those reason you give (being a girl, first love, etc.) are normal. I would feel the same way if I ran into my old and first flame. From what I know about you, you are a friendly, warm, and nice person. Maybe you aren't where you want to be in life right now, but that doesn't diminsh anything you have done or will do. You are who you are, hold your head up high, be proud, and know that he would have been really lucky to have you.
Sorry for rambling :)
Sorry for rambling :)
I would feel the same way as you do if this happened to me. I am not sure if I would really want to talk to my first love from back then. I was such a different person all those years ago. If you do decide to do it, let us know what happens. I am interested to see how this turns out!
I had the same thing happen to me last year. My first boyfriend sent me a friend request on Facebook, after not being in touch for nearly 20 years. We have many mutual friends from university so had kept up secondhand on what the other was doing (both of us are married, and he has two kids) but hadn't communicated directly - not because of any animosity or hard feelings, but that's just the way it happened. We exchanged a bunch of messages on Facebook and now just keep up through our status lines. It was a weird blast from the past, especially since we discovered we have many other mutual friends through our literary interests. Overall it was nice we got to reconnect that way.
Facebook is odd that way, the strangest people find you, don't they? I understand your feelings though, because 20 years is a long time, and I avoided by 20th high school reunion because I'm way heavier than when I was in school. I just couldn't face everyone! None were close friends anyway, but still.....I'm glad you did get in touch with him, it is still a strange feeling to have the past come in the present again, isn't it?
Susan, that is the reason why I didn't go to any school reunions or anything as well! It is a very strange feeling!
Sarah, I think that is how it is going to work with us as well.
Zibilee, I think we will probably just end up being acquaintances with a history at this point in time!
Jenny Girl, I think someone would be lucky to have me. Unfortunately there is no queue at the door waiting for the chance!
Sarah, I think that is how it is going to work with us as well.
Zibilee, I think we will probably just end up being acquaintances with a history at this point in time!
Jenny Girl, I think someone would be lucky to have me. Unfortunately there is no queue at the door waiting for the chance!
And, this is why I won't be getting a Facebook account! ha. Just kidding. I have had to reconnect with friends from my past and it's a bit strange. I imagine with a first love it would be much harder, but I hope it all goes well!
Lezlie